Biggest Brain Freeze Ever

If you've been adventurous enough to dig into the archives of my blog, you probably would have stumbled across a post or two chronicling my move to Los Angeles from the east coast and all the necessary anguish we shall call it because typing out bullshit just isn't appropriate (oops) that precursored the big event. You've also probably heard me lament my loss of pizza, schmear, and Italian food. And lest I forget to include real New York bagels in that list, I will have committed some horrible sin in which I would be sent to some hell where sweet confections and bagels surround and taunting me for my newly acquired gluten allergy. Thank god that is just some sick thought and not my reality.

BLK DNM • Cropped Motorcycle Jacket

So anyway, after my big move, job change and understand that I can buy challah bread at the local bakery  I now lead this great amazing life where I'm happily drowning in cotton candy clouds flying on rainbows on unicorns (Pegasus?) and crying tears of joy that turn to liquid gold. Yeah, false. Don't get me wrong, my life is pretty damn awesome. Actually, I shouldn't (notice I don't say can't because I always can) complain, but I do. Seriously, that paper cut hurt and it warranted at least three Hello Kitty Band-Aids. No, for real. 

So the issue at hand is I make life really, really, really hard for myself. Like, unintentionally but completely intentionally. Confused yet? Does it not make sense? If it does make sense then I want to know what you're smoking and where I can get some because it really makes no sense at all to me. Let's break this down and examine some key points.

Why My Life Is Awesome

• I live in a 'bomb' location (bomb is some newly acquired So Cal lingo I'm trying to exercise)
• I love my job, yes, actually
• I love my relationships (friends, family, significant other, etc.)
• What I do after work is so much fun (I'm a grandma so it mostly consist of sewing)

I can't actually think of anything else I spend my time on with the exception of grocery shopping and getting gas and those are pretty neutral tasks. I don't love them and I don't hate them. They're just things I must do like occasionally sleeping. Okay, okay, I absolutely LOVE Sample Sunday at Costco and riding on their big shopping carts.  So this brings us to the big question, why is my life so hard?

Crappy Stuff

• Eating bad food (calories and money spent, TERRIBLE!)
• Losing my cellphone in the sheets with it set to silent (HORRIBLE!!!)
• Consuming too much caramel popcorn and getting stomach ache (there is NO medication for overeating!)
• Not getting my way (seriously, what creep would eat my last bite of pizza? That's just RUDE.)

You get the point. The list goes on, and on, and on... and doesn't just stop at getting disgusting looking trucker tan on the daily morning commute. Basically, I sweat the small stuff. Like, big time sweat it. I'm letting that ity, bity, milkshake, not boba straw sized tunnel vision get in the way of me seeing the big picture. The reality is I have a milkshake. I want it now and I can have it now, so why limit myself to getting a straw sized brain freeze when I can just take the whole damn glass and put it to my face?

I don't know about you but I'm definitely going out into the world from now on with the intention of getting the most epic brain freeze possible. Now the question is... what flavor?

Note: So I may have gone to the local diner and gotten a mocha fudge oreo shake... and finished it... and the extra side cup thing too. The delectability of that milkshake may have been denounced so a trip to Jack In the Box to buy two more milkshakes may have also happened...